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Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
when i die i want to be thrown out of an airplane with a superman costume
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.