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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I`m always like, "I love you," and they`re like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.