Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
My weekends are basically just spent splitting a bloomin` onion with my bros at Outback Steakhouse while trying to figure out why girls don`t like us.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I`m possessed by the devil is not funny.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.