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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...