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What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
i`m my own therapist...which explains so much.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.