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Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck ... My wife still came home ... Superstitions are stupid.
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.