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No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.