Daily Silly Status

The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.

I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.

Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.

Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.

I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?

I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.

I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.

I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this

Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves

Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.

Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.

Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-

You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.

Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.