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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Unless you discovered a dead body, I don`t want to hear about your morning jog.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
Running behind is my cardio.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?