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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
Jerry: Tom, you are a genius!.. Tom: Yeah, I am called that a lot... Jerry: What? Genius?... Tom: No, `Tom`
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.