Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
Every once in a while I check up on people I hate to make sure I still hate them… I do.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness