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I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
Miracle Whip is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, “No hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.