Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I`d totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
I’m in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
I am hungry 25 hours a day
How Big is Infinity?
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.