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I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
If you have no regrets in life, you clearly have never gone out with me.
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.