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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
Hardest thing in life: Trying to look happy when no money falls out of your birthday card.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an I-pad
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I imagine some people are like...: `should I take the shower?...no...I`m taking the train today...`