Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"
I am the bestest at the English language...
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
I think I may be getting harder to love.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."