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Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
My kid’s teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I’m like I do. I’m player 2.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."