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If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
Honking your horn won´t make them go any faster, but at least they´ll know that you´re an asshole.
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.