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Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.