Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.
I`m just like you ... Only smarter and better looking.