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ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch