Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they`re empty.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
If you kept one of those jars where I`d have to put in a quarter every time I swore, you would be a billionaire by the end of the week.