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If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
When someone says “you’re the best,” just know that it’s not really true because I’m the best.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
If you were born in September, it`s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a BANG
If a camera adds 10 pounds then maybe stop eating them
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.