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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
It`s not hotter this year. It`s just that you are fatter and there is more surface area for the sun to hit.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
A homeless guy asked me for money today and I thought, sure, he’s probably just gonna spend it on booze and cigarettes. Then I remembered, that’s what I was gonna do, so we walked to the store together.
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
Everybody reaches a point in their lives when they die.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?