Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like