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Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
I don`t know who you are, but if you don`t stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will smack you with it
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
Someone just asked me if I was `happily` married. Single people are adorable.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.