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Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
My home security system is a series of paintings with the eyes cut out.
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Remember kids- Respect your fathers! Besides, before you came out of your moms, you came out of your dad.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
You really can`t say your laundry is done unless you are completely naked
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
I`d bite my nails less if there wasn`t always chocolate frosting under them.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.
How Big is Infinity?