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i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
Ok honey don’t freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn’t do the dishes.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
My personality is 30% the last movie I watched.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!