Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
´s status message is better than yours
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
I watched the deleted scenes from a porno last night. Turns out he ended up fixing the washing machine after all.
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
It`s awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
I don`t mean to brag... but I`m a pretty damn good peek-a-boo opponent
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.