Daily Silly Status

When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".

"It`s the little things in life that make you laugh," my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart.

Dont piss me off...I`ll give your number to all the kids and tell them it`s Santa`s hot line!

ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)

Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

I’m not brave. I’m just past the age where running is an option.

Pretending to be nice is exhausting...

when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around

She said there`s no difference between turkey bacon and regular bacon, and now I`m supposed to just "forget about it"?

It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.

I have a drinking problem. When I tilt my head back to take a drink, I can’t see my computer screen.

for every like, I will fart on my wife face

If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."