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wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.