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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
Hey all you parents who recently named your kid Jax, We get it you`re unoriginal and watch SOA ... Hold on my daughter Grey`s Anatomy is crying.
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
Every time I go into my boss` office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.
I deserve an Oscar for my performance in "Holy crap this is a terrible gift but I`ll pretend to love it."