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It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the sh!t out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
Iām bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole