Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
Doc: ``Hows your headache ?`` Me: ``She`s at home``
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.