Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can press the snooze button.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
The only thing I ever win playing McDonald’s Monopoly is 10 pounds.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
The only thing I have learned so far in this company meeting is that this room has 37 ceiling tiles and 24 fluorescent bulbs.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.