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Three things I’m thankful for this time of year: Family, Friends, and Caller ID to avoid family and friends
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.