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is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
"If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~ My son apparently
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."