Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone’s numbers again, I text them: “Guess who?” for 2 weeks.
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...