Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone`s food pics and posting the calories.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
bras are booby-traps
Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.