Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The best nicknames are the ones you don’t even know you have.
I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
If I don`t clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded ppl for a Frebreeze commercial.
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
I just want to be rich enough to tell my boss, "you`re not the boss of me"!
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?