Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
Efficiency: skip your morning, wake up in the afternoon.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!