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It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
about love
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
I wish bedtime was all the time.
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk