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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.