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There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.