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Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
“Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.