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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
I like it like that
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
If it wasn`t for physics and law enforcement, I`d be unstoppable.
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.