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Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
My wife and I decided to make our own sex tape. She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
Since they`re loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
You know why it`s called almond milk? Cuz you can`t say nut juice with a straight face
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?