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Quiet people have the loudest minds.
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
Is snaxting a thing? Texting each other pics of your snacks? Cause I feel like I’d be pretty good at that.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.