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That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
I love watching The Simpsons. They never get old.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.