Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
Even though I`m only 29, I know I`m going to die a bitter, lonely, miserable old man ... I`m married.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i`m pretty sure they`re hallucinations.