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Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
You don`t look like 200 likes in person
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!