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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
If you speak too slowly, I will complete all your sentences in my mind in ways that makes your story much more interesting
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
Wanna try something funny? Go to a bank and yell "NOBODY MOVE..(Scary pause)..I lost a contact lens."
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you`re bound to get burned
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.