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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Picking and choosing who to say happy birthday to since 2006, thanks Facebook!
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. Ha!!,,That solves that problem.
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver.
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Side effects of telling your wife to get a grip may include throat bruising or testicular swelling.
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."