Daily Silly Status

I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)

I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....

Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.

I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”

In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.

It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.

Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...

i only drink on days that end with y

I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.

All my passwords are protected by amnesia.

Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.

Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?

I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."

Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.

I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.