Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she`s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.